Episode 20
Freedom from 18 Years of Abuse
December 20, 2022
On this episode, Lyndsay Soprano speaks with her guest, Megan Anderson, about how she finally broke free of a marriage of 18 years worth of abuse and trauma.
Lyndsay speaks about the importance in our culture of breaking intergenerational cycle of abuse. A lot of abusers come from being abused and we’ve got to break that. And it is really scary to escape. And Lyndsay used the word escape specifically because that is what she did. She had to plan and hide and scheme and do all this behind the scenes work and still placate and pretend that she was going to be staying. It was so scary. And talking about this brings up a lot of that shit from back then.
Lyndsay felt trapped beyond her control. And lived in fear every moment of my life. And being truly honest with herself, she shouldn’t have married the person that she did. Lyndsay has always said that she has very little regret in her life. And most of the time that’s true because it’s shaped who she is as a woman and has made her stronger.
But marrying her ex-husband was the biggest regret in her life. Wishing that an entire decade would just disappear. We can’t wipe away the past, but we can heal from them!
The guest today is no stranger, unfortunately, to domestic abuse. Her story is one of surviving and thriving after 18 years of staying in a violent marriage. One day, she woke up and said, I’m getting this out of here. And she’s pretty proud about setting herself free and then thriving her ass off.
Megan begins her story with perspective of her age—she is almost 42. So the story actually started 22 years from now. And it started with massive physical abuse at the beginning of their relationship and she stayed. People always ask why we stay. There isn’t one answer for each person’s experience because it is theirs. And until you are put in the shoes of that person, you cannot judge or understand. And that goes for every relationship in your life no matter what type.
What people in abusive relationships can say is that we always protect the abuser first. It’s called co-dependance.
They talk about each type of domestic violence that she experienced and it’s a pretty long list. Some of which we would never, at face value, think of as abusive.
Listen to her story. Educate yourself on abuse. And never judge unless you have the same pair of shoes on your feet.
Let’s get to the heart of how to heal. With you by my side.
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